Your relationship with your animal companion is special, so the loss or impending loss of this beloved friend can be devastating. Whether your pet dies, is lost or stolen, or must be placed in a new home, the painful feelings of grief can make this one of the most difficult times in your life.
This is especially true if you had to make the difficult decision to have a veterinarian end your pet's life due to severe illness or injuries.
You Are Not Alone
When your animal companion dies, grief—even profound grief—is a normal and natural reaction. We derive so much pleasure from the companionship of our pets and experience their unconditional acceptance of us. Even so, friends and relatives may not realize how important your pet was to you, or understand the depth of your sorrow.
Your grief is personal, but it need not be solitary.
Common Reactions to Loss
Each of us experiences the grief process in a unique way. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve, and it may last from a few weeks to many years.
Emotional Reactions
Many people report feelings of shock, numbness, irritability, anger, guilt, sadness, fear, anxiety, loneliness, or depression. Although these reactions are part of the normal grief response, many people are afraid that they are overreacting. Others find their feelings so intense that they are concerned their pain will never diminish.
Physical Sensations
Grief isn't just in your head; it is often felt in the body. Sensations may include:
- Exhaustion and weakness
- Hollowness or tightness in the stomach or chest
- Headaches
- Appetite disturbances or changes in sleep patterns
The "Phantom" Pet
People often report being "haunted" by their last experiences with the pet, replaying the final events over and over in their minds. You may even imagine that you still catch glimpses of the animal in the corner of your eye or hear them in the house.
"Grief is the price we pay for love."
– Queen Elizabeth II
Recovery from Grief
The first step in dealing with grief is to acknowledge your feelings. The second is to determine what actions will best help you resolve your pain. Many people are willing to offer well-intentioned advice, but only you will know what best supports you.
An important focus of recovery is sharing these feelings and concerns with others who will understand. A Pet Loss Support Group is a place where bereaved pet owners can share their memories, thoughts, and feelings.
Questions You May Be Asking Yourself
As you navigate this journey, you may wish to explore the following issues:
- How will I know when it is time to say "goodbye"?
- Should I be present when my animal is euthanized?
- What shall I tell my children about the death or impending death of our pet?
- Why do I feel guilty when I know that I did the right thing for my pet?
- Which option for the animal's remains would best comfort me?
- When, if ever, should I get another animal?
- How will I know when I have recovered from this grief?
Support Groups & Resources
Finding a supportive atmosphere of people experiencing similar feelings can be incredibly healing. We're currently compiling a comprehensive list of local support groups around the country. In the meantime, search for "pet loss support groups near me" on Google or your favorite search engine.
Remember: your feelings are valid, your grief is real, and healing takes time. Be patient with yourself, and know that your beloved companion's pawprints will always remain in your heart.
Medical Review by Dr. Sarah Smith, DVM
Veterinary Behavioral Specialist